TOday is my last due date. Like I said in a earlier post they have given me 3 , 10th, 16th and 19th. Rory's last due date was the 19th as well. And here I sit again. I have done everything , there is nothing anyone can post that I have not done . I am tired emotionally and physically and I dont have much hope. After today my chances of a VBAC go from 70% to about 30% , this is all statistics but still. My body is trying I can feel it , it is like a car's engine that just can't turn over . There are moments when you think it has started only to have it die again. I plead with it "just start!" , "give me a chance" "I will do the rest" . I go through anger and weeping in a moment. The worst part is that and I dont know if I even posted about this but Rory had a double ear infection. We took her back last week and she STILL has it !! She is now on a second antibiotic for 10 days. Yesterday there was blood coming out of her ear . THis morning when she woke up she screamed for over 30 minutes (this is not Rory) I kept asking her to tell me what was wrong . She knows enough words and gestures that when I say where does it ouch ? she will tell me . My she was sooo distraught . She just buried her head in my chest and every few minutes would wail "mommy mommy mommy" I finally sat straight up with her against me and breast fed her whille we waiting for the Ibprofen to take the edge off the pain. She fell back asleep in my arms and I cried . How can I be away from her for 4 nights ? How can I not be able to hold her for 6 weeks at least? I could not push the stroller for almost 3 months after my last c section. Marc will have to take off work for at least 6 weeks and take care of all of us. That means no income coming in . NONE! What are we going to do? Why did I leave work ? Why won't my body do what it is supposed to do ?
** Oh and the final date can't be any later then today the 19th. I took a pregnancy test Feb 6th and it was positive . It was a first response that has a %50 chance of telling you 10 DPO so that would bring ovulation to no later then Jan 27th . So there is no way it is a missed date.
