Thursday, December 18, 2008
not much to report
just got back from doing 4 1/2 miles with the double jogger. The thing totals 75 pounds with the two girls. Trying to think of a running goal for spring any ideas ?
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Job for a day
So for the past 2 weeks i have been applying to work . I didn't think I would find something so soon. Maybe late winter early spring but I knew I should start looking. I had basically told all my contacts I was done with the business but now that we decided to stay I thought I needed to find work and let them know I wanted to be back in the biz. I got a call Friday night from a Executive looking for a Production Manager for a new cooking show. She wanted to meet me Monday she was very busy and could not answer any questions at that time . I went in Monday morning had about a 10 minute interview. In which I explained I was a new mom , (they were moms too) Said I could work from home sometimes and basically offered me the job. The money was amazing , which was my first clue, It was as good as Colbert . They wanted me to start Tuesday , I asked for Wednesday start and they said fine as long as I could come to a tech meeting on Tuesday for 1 hour. OK . Oh and I told them I was breastfeeding , no problem we have an office you can pump in and a fridge. Wow , wow wow. Money , some time at home , good hours , nice people . The commute to the office was 1 hour door to door but in Jan we would move to Greenpoint in Brooklyn and if I drove it would be about 25 minutes . Wow Wow .
Then Tuesday morning around 5am I woke up and laid in bed. Something is not right , This is a start up (meaning a whole new show) the money is really good . I went to the office . Immediately one of the woman said I doubt you will be able to work from home things are really hectic we only have 2 weeks to get this show in the studio. Just to give you an example I started in mid July to launch Colbert Oct 17 2005. Then they give me the budget and then say in a whisper make a quick copy of this. See the guy over there he is the Production Manager on the show now but after the meeting we are going to fire him . We are telling him you are the coordinator . As I started to feel sick to my stomach I went to the copier . I looked at the budget and noted there was no coordinator line (so I assumed he did not have a copy of the budget yet) then I noted there was no EIC (executive in charge or even a line producer ) Then it hit me I was the production dept . There was the 2 executive producers and me . I have never worked on a show with 1 person in the production dept . There also was no show accountant which meant all start paper work payroll would be through be as well as accounting for all purchase orders .
Then the Production Manager came over and said I understand you are my new coordinator. First off the guy was super nice not upset at all that they had hired a coordinator he never even got to interview. I would be if I were him as the PM and PC really have to work well together and trust each other. Also he said he heard I just had a baby and he had a 9 year old son. Oh can you excuse as I went in the bathroom and literally got sick (in every way , sorry for the TMI) ok so now the meeting starts . And I sit next to the PM , he does really well and he actually knew more about equipment then me . I am sitting there thinking 1. this job is a bit over my head 2. I am never going to see my family until May . I was shaking during the meeting . Oh and before the meeting I asked where the room was I could pump in . It was the executive's office which meant I would have had to ask her to leave her office 3 times a day . Of course until we moved to Brooklyn then who knows what was out there. But there is no way she would be able to leave her office 3 times a day with all this going on.
So after the meeting I talked to the executive . I said you need a Strong Line producer for this . Have I lined produced a show . Yes once a 13 episode cooking show. And the facility we shot in had a engineer this one did not . They expected me to build a control room . The show is hosted by 3 women they only had 1 casted . Jan 5th start date to shoot and holidays coming. No set yet, 1 set design, they did have a crew but no rundowns , scripts or a real schedule of load in. She assured me that I would be fine but I said when I interviewed you said the hours would be x y z and there is no way . And she said "well we just really wanted you" So I came home , crying the whole way on the subway, I was angry at myself because I should have known better and I was also angry that they misrepresented the job. I came home and cried and cried to Marc. Who of course said I think you should take it , you will be able to come home at a decent hour . I said there is no way. He said have them put in your contract that you get to come home a few days a week at 6pm and you will work from home . THis is similar to Colbert although Colbert was established so it was rare I worked more then 1 night from home . So I emailed her , the answer was no that more likely I would leave work at 8pm . I was a mess there is no way I could continue breastfeeding which those hours , no place to pump. I know what you are thinking that in this economy I need to take what I could get but I can never get this time back. So I called her and told her I could not take the job. So yes I turned down a 6 figure job basically to breastfeed and spend time with my kids. Marc was not happy but eventually understood. I said you would not be able to run at all at night and that quieted him down .
I called a couple of mentors and they all basically said Kate something else will come along later when you are ready . Did I burn a bridge , I hope not . Will we survive , short term yes. I guess I am just not ready to go back to work. I mean with Rory I did when she was 7 weeks but I was able to come home after rehearsal started so i was home by 6 or 6:30 .
but because of all this I lost 6 pounds so I am only about 4 or 5 pounds away from pre prego weight.
So tell me am I crazy?
Then Tuesday morning around 5am I woke up and laid in bed. Something is not right , This is a start up (meaning a whole new show) the money is really good . I went to the office . Immediately one of the woman said I doubt you will be able to work from home things are really hectic we only have 2 weeks to get this show in the studio. Just to give you an example I started in mid July to launch Colbert Oct 17 2005. Then they give me the budget and then say in a whisper make a quick copy of this. See the guy over there he is the Production Manager on the show now but after the meeting we are going to fire him . We are telling him you are the coordinator . As I started to feel sick to my stomach I went to the copier . I looked at the budget and noted there was no coordinator line (so I assumed he did not have a copy of the budget yet) then I noted there was no EIC (executive in charge or even a line producer ) Then it hit me I was the production dept . There was the 2 executive producers and me . I have never worked on a show with 1 person in the production dept . There also was no show accountant which meant all start paper work payroll would be through be as well as accounting for all purchase orders .
Then the Production Manager came over and said I understand you are my new coordinator. First off the guy was super nice not upset at all that they had hired a coordinator he never even got to interview. I would be if I were him as the PM and PC really have to work well together and trust each other. Also he said he heard I just had a baby and he had a 9 year old son. Oh can you excuse as I went in the bathroom and literally got sick (in every way , sorry for the TMI) ok so now the meeting starts . And I sit next to the PM , he does really well and he actually knew more about equipment then me . I am sitting there thinking 1. this job is a bit over my head 2. I am never going to see my family until May . I was shaking during the meeting . Oh and before the meeting I asked where the room was I could pump in . It was the executive's office which meant I would have had to ask her to leave her office 3 times a day . Of course until we moved to Brooklyn then who knows what was out there. But there is no way she would be able to leave her office 3 times a day with all this going on.
So after the meeting I talked to the executive . I said you need a Strong Line producer for this . Have I lined produced a show . Yes once a 13 episode cooking show. And the facility we shot in had a engineer this one did not . They expected me to build a control room . The show is hosted by 3 women they only had 1 casted . Jan 5th start date to shoot and holidays coming. No set yet, 1 set design, they did have a crew but no rundowns , scripts or a real schedule of load in. She assured me that I would be fine but I said when I interviewed you said the hours would be x y z and there is no way . And she said "well we just really wanted you" So I came home , crying the whole way on the subway, I was angry at myself because I should have known better and I was also angry that they misrepresented the job. I came home and cried and cried to Marc. Who of course said I think you should take it , you will be able to come home at a decent hour . I said there is no way. He said have them put in your contract that you get to come home a few days a week at 6pm and you will work from home . THis is similar to Colbert although Colbert was established so it was rare I worked more then 1 night from home . So I emailed her , the answer was no that more likely I would leave work at 8pm . I was a mess there is no way I could continue breastfeeding which those hours , no place to pump. I know what you are thinking that in this economy I need to take what I could get but I can never get this time back. So I called her and told her I could not take the job. So yes I turned down a 6 figure job basically to breastfeed and spend time with my kids. Marc was not happy but eventually understood. I said you would not be able to run at all at night and that quieted him down .
I called a couple of mentors and they all basically said Kate something else will come along later when you are ready . Did I burn a bridge , I hope not . Will we survive , short term yes. I guess I am just not ready to go back to work. I mean with Rory I did when she was 7 weeks but I was able to come home after rehearsal started so i was home by 6 or 6:30 .
but because of all this I lost 6 pounds so I am only about 4 or 5 pounds away from pre prego weight.
So tell me am I crazy?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
pattern
I am nervous to blog about this becasue I don't want to jinx it . G has been feeding now every 3 hours and will sleep from 9pm -2am and then from 3:00am till 7am. This is huge . We have gotten sleep for the past 4 nights and it has been great. Rory sleeps until about 4am and then crawels in bed till with us until 7am . I hope we have turned a tiny corner.
Friday, November 21, 2008
updates
G has some digestive issues . She was only pooping once every 2 days and was miserable . She would scream at the breast (probably because of my over supply) and strain for 1 to 2 hours after . THe doctor has to manually decompact her . We are now giving her 2 ounces of tea a day. I also have cut out caffeine , chocolate and diary out of my diet . I hope this helps . With Rory I could eat anything I wanted.
Rory is doing ok with the change. She stills sings "baby go out the door" over and over again. This is a song she made up after about a day of the baby being home. I tried to take them both to a toddler library class and it was a disaster . I really need to be one on one with Rory at the class not feeding the baby in the corner . I really need to figure out how I can take Rory and leave G with someone so she can get interaction with kids. Also we are trapped inside a bit more because of the baby so it is hard on her.
Marc and Kate are struggling . More fighting and sooo tired . We take shifts all night long and it is wearing on us. G needs special care after feeding / upright for over 30 minutes .
That is really about it.
Rory is doing ok with the change. She stills sings "baby go out the door" over and over again. This is a song she made up after about a day of the baby being home. I tried to take them both to a toddler library class and it was a disaster . I really need to be one on one with Rory at the class not feeding the baby in the corner . I really need to figure out how I can take Rory and leave G with someone so she can get interaction with kids. Also we are trapped inside a bit more because of the baby so it is hard on her.
Marc and Kate are struggling . More fighting and sooo tired . We take shifts all night long and it is wearing on us. G needs special care after feeding / upright for over 30 minutes .
That is really about it.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
doulas version of birth story !!
Gwenneth’s Birth Story
Kate and Mark called Suzanne on the morning of Monday, October 20, 2008 to report that Kate had been having contractions overnight. They were irregular and manageable, but consistently there! Suzanne told them to time out the contractions and call back in an hour. By the time they called back, Melani picked up the phone and was told by Kate that her water may have broken. The contractions were still irregular and bearable, so Kate continued to keep Melani posted until it was decided that Melani would come give Kate acupuncture at 12:30 PM to help increase the contractions.
Melani arrived at 12:30 PM to find Kate resting in bed and began the acupuncture treatment. After Kate’s treatment and an attempt at napping, Kate and Melani decided to go for a walk in the park while Mark played with Rory. From 2 to 2:45 PM, Melani and Kate strolled in the sun and then rested for 20 minutes on a grass field under a tree. While resting, Kate’s contractions increased in strength and were still irregular.
Upon returning home, Kate and Mark decided it was time to take Rory to her babysitter. Kate said goodbye to Rory, very aware that the next time she would see her daughter, they would be a family of four. Kate received another acupuncture treatment and massage while sitting on the birthball. When Mark returned home, Kate and Mark decided to go rest together in the park and Melani headed home. They would keep her posted on Kate’s progress and on their conversation with the doctor.
At about 10 PM, Mark called Ayla, the next doula/acupuncturist on shift and asked her to come over for support. Kate had been having contractions every 8 minutes or so since 5 PM in the afternoon and the contractions seemed to be getting much stronger and closer together. Kate was feeling worried and wondering whether it was time to go to the hospital.
Ayla arrived at around 10:45 PM and both Kate and Mark were tired from a long day. Kate was having some difficulty getting comfortable so she and Ayla experimented with different positions. Kate was also finding it hard to breath through her contractions so she, Mark, and Ayla practiced various breathing exercises. Despite their fatigue, both Kate and Mark were in high spirits, cracking jokes, and entertaining one another and their doula. Contractions were steady between 3 – 4 minutes apart for about two hours and Kate decided she wanted to go to the hospital. This seemed like a wise idea to everyone as this was a VBAC delivery and Dr. Worth wanted to be very cautious.
After a somewhat uncomfortable car ride, Kate, Mark, and Ayla arrived at St. Vincent’s at approximately 2 AM. At this point, it was determined that Kate was 1cm dilated and 60% effaced. This news was discouraging for Kate and she began to doubt her ability to follow through with her plans for a vaginal delivery. Another setback was the need to administer IV fluids. This worried Kate because she really did not want to be attached to an IV or have continuous fetal monitoring. Through all this, Mark was unwaveringly positive and supportive and encouraged Kate to stick to her plan. Ayla concurred that coming to the hospital had been a very wise choice and that, with some rest and fluids, there was every reason to believe that a vaginal delivery was possible. Aside from the very young and very tired resident with a poor bedside manner, the entire staff at St. Vincent’s was also very supportive and encouraging.
Together, Kate and Mark came to the decision to ask that Kate be given a dose of Demerol so she could nap a bit. At around 4 AM, Kate was given Demerol and the entire birth team took a short nap. It was still very difficult for Kate to breath through the contractions so over the course of the next two hours, Ayla coached Kate through breathing exercises to help her relax. By 6 AM Kate was breathing well and had found her power. When the new nurse came in at 7 AM, Kate said she wanted to be taken off the IV and allowed to walk around. Dr. Worth approved and Kate was taken off IV and the fetal heart monitor was removed. This was a big relief to Kate and she experimented with walking, sitting in different positions, and using the birth ball. Mark was helping by massaging her lower back during contractions.
At approximately 8 AM, Dr. Musali, came in to perform a second vaginal exam and it was determined that Kate was 80% effaced, and the baby had dropped significantly. She was still only 1 cm dilated but Dr. Musali was not worried about this. He explained that sometimes the first 3 cm of dilation take a very long time but after this point the labor can go very quickly. He told Kate that they were not in a rush and that she would have all the time she needed to progress. Dr. Worth came in an hour later and she too was very optimistic. Also encouraging was that both doctors agreed to let Kate have intermittent fetal heart monitoring, which would mean that Kate could walk around, and change positions for contractions.
Kate was disappointed by her lack of progress but both Mark and Ayla assured her that there was no reason to feel discouraged. Ayla reminded Kate that she had finally found a good breathing rhythm and that from now on she would likely feel much more relaxed. Everyone was on board for a vaginal delivery but it was clear that this would likely be quite a long day. Kate decided to ask for another 1/2 dose of Demerol to help cope with the pain and Ayla said goodbye to the laboring couple at about 9:30 AM.
Sharon arrived at 11:00 AM to find Kate resting peacefully between contractions. Since the early morning, Mark remained at Kate’s side and every 6 minutes he helped sit her up in order to breath through each contraction. Sharon joined in and both she and Mark together and taking turns, massaged Kate’s back and coached her through each contraction. Sharon made sure Kate had some ice chips after each contraction. The 9:30 AM Demerol dose allowed Kate to doze between contractions but as time passed, the analgesic effect began to wear off.
At 12:50 PM, Dr. Worth came in and performed another vaginal exam. Kate was at 3 cm dilated and about 90% effaced. Kate was discouraged by the results and the pain with contractions continued to increase. She had hoped she would be around 5-6 cm dilated for this is where she hoped to be before consenting to an epidural. Dr. Worth discussed with Kate, Mark, and Sharon the various possibilities of getting more Demerol, receiving an epidural, or opting for a C-section. Dr. Worth also suggested an internal monitor so Kate could remove the external monitor and allow for more position changes. Wanting to be more alert, Kate and Sharon discussed the idea of allowing the Demerol to wear off and labor without any intervention before deciding to get an epidural. Kate was in adamant agreement. She bravely experimented with different positions on the bed and labored for one and a half hours before getting the epidural.
Administered at 2:30 PM , the epidural took an unusually long time to set in so the anesthesiologist very accommodatingly stayed nearby to adjust the dosage. Of course, Kate’s offer of tickets to the Colbert Report for a job well done was also very alluring! By 3:30 PM, the epidural offered more pain relief, but Kate could still feel pain down the sides of her legs and the lower left portion of her belly. Dr. Musali came in to check on Kate and his calm, collected presence was very much appreciated by all parties. He continued to assert that there was plenty of room in Kate’s pelvis to go through with a vaginal delivery and that the baby was not too big. After discovering that Kate was about 4 cm dilated following a vaginal exam, Dr. Musali suggested Kate get a pressure catheter to measure the strength of the uterine contractions to ascertain why dilation seemed slow. After a thoughtful discussion, with the unwavering advocacy of Mark, everyone agreed that it was best for Kate to continue to strive for a VBAC and that the next best step was to redo the epidural to see if she could get more pain relief. At 6 PM, the epidural was re-set and by 6:30 PM, Kate received complete pain relief. A success! Kate fell into a deep sleep and even though Pitocin was conservatively administered at 7 PM, Kate continued to sleep soundly for the next 2 and a half hours without even waking during the contractions! Sharon rested along with Kate and although Mark may have intended to rest, he never took his eyes off the monitor and vigilantly watched each contraction as they increased in strength.
At 9:30 PM, Dr. Moon came in and performed another vaginal exam. To everyone’s surprise and delight, Kate was fully dilated and ready to push! Did Mark’s watchful eyes will full dilation? Kate, groggy from just awaking, was in disbelief. “Is this a dream?” she asked. But it was no dream. Soon, Rachel, the new nurse on duty, joined Dr. Moon, Mark and Sharon as they supported Kate through her first pushes. Dr. Moon immediately called Dr. Worth who raced to return to attend the birth. Although everyone wanted Dr. Worth to be present, Kate saw her chance and was determined to push still not believing that the baby was heading in only one direction: out! Soon, Dr. Worth arrived and pushing was underway. Kate holding her own legs, Mark and Sharon stationed on each side supporting her, Kate led the way as only she could feel when a contraction was coming on. Dr. Worth and Rachel took turns guiding Kate with when and where to push. Kate was a natural pusher. Even with decreased sensation from the epidural, she knew to push low and strong. Kate even requested the epidural be turned off so she could feel more.
After an hour and a half of beautiful pushes, on Oct. 21st, 2008, lovely Gwenneth joined her parents at 11:03 PM.
Kate and Mark called Suzanne on the morning of Monday, October 20, 2008 to report that Kate had been having contractions overnight. They were irregular and manageable, but consistently there! Suzanne told them to time out the contractions and call back in an hour. By the time they called back, Melani picked up the phone and was told by Kate that her water may have broken. The contractions were still irregular and bearable, so Kate continued to keep Melani posted until it was decided that Melani would come give Kate acupuncture at 12:30 PM to help increase the contractions.
Melani arrived at 12:30 PM to find Kate resting in bed and began the acupuncture treatment. After Kate’s treatment and an attempt at napping, Kate and Melani decided to go for a walk in the park while Mark played with Rory. From 2 to 2:45 PM, Melani and Kate strolled in the sun and then rested for 20 minutes on a grass field under a tree. While resting, Kate’s contractions increased in strength and were still irregular.
Upon returning home, Kate and Mark decided it was time to take Rory to her babysitter. Kate said goodbye to Rory, very aware that the next time she would see her daughter, they would be a family of four. Kate received another acupuncture treatment and massage while sitting on the birthball. When Mark returned home, Kate and Mark decided to go rest together in the park and Melani headed home. They would keep her posted on Kate’s progress and on their conversation with the doctor.
At about 10 PM, Mark called Ayla, the next doula/acupuncturist on shift and asked her to come over for support. Kate had been having contractions every 8 minutes or so since 5 PM in the afternoon and the contractions seemed to be getting much stronger and closer together. Kate was feeling worried and wondering whether it was time to go to the hospital.
Ayla arrived at around 10:45 PM and both Kate and Mark were tired from a long day. Kate was having some difficulty getting comfortable so she and Ayla experimented with different positions. Kate was also finding it hard to breath through her contractions so she, Mark, and Ayla practiced various breathing exercises. Despite their fatigue, both Kate and Mark were in high spirits, cracking jokes, and entertaining one another and their doula. Contractions were steady between 3 – 4 minutes apart for about two hours and Kate decided she wanted to go to the hospital. This seemed like a wise idea to everyone as this was a VBAC delivery and Dr. Worth wanted to be very cautious.
After a somewhat uncomfortable car ride, Kate, Mark, and Ayla arrived at St. Vincent’s at approximately 2 AM. At this point, it was determined that Kate was 1cm dilated and 60% effaced. This news was discouraging for Kate and she began to doubt her ability to follow through with her plans for a vaginal delivery. Another setback was the need to administer IV fluids. This worried Kate because she really did not want to be attached to an IV or have continuous fetal monitoring. Through all this, Mark was unwaveringly positive and supportive and encouraged Kate to stick to her plan. Ayla concurred that coming to the hospital had been a very wise choice and that, with some rest and fluids, there was every reason to believe that a vaginal delivery was possible. Aside from the very young and very tired resident with a poor bedside manner, the entire staff at St. Vincent’s was also very supportive and encouraging.
Together, Kate and Mark came to the decision to ask that Kate be given a dose of Demerol so she could nap a bit. At around 4 AM, Kate was given Demerol and the entire birth team took a short nap. It was still very difficult for Kate to breath through the contractions so over the course of the next two hours, Ayla coached Kate through breathing exercises to help her relax. By 6 AM Kate was breathing well and had found her power. When the new nurse came in at 7 AM, Kate said she wanted to be taken off the IV and allowed to walk around. Dr. Worth approved and Kate was taken off IV and the fetal heart monitor was removed. This was a big relief to Kate and she experimented with walking, sitting in different positions, and using the birth ball. Mark was helping by massaging her lower back during contractions.
At approximately 8 AM, Dr. Musali, came in to perform a second vaginal exam and it was determined that Kate was 80% effaced, and the baby had dropped significantly. She was still only 1 cm dilated but Dr. Musali was not worried about this. He explained that sometimes the first 3 cm of dilation take a very long time but after this point the labor can go very quickly. He told Kate that they were not in a rush and that she would have all the time she needed to progress. Dr. Worth came in an hour later and she too was very optimistic. Also encouraging was that both doctors agreed to let Kate have intermittent fetal heart monitoring, which would mean that Kate could walk around, and change positions for contractions.
Kate was disappointed by her lack of progress but both Mark and Ayla assured her that there was no reason to feel discouraged. Ayla reminded Kate that she had finally found a good breathing rhythm and that from now on she would likely feel much more relaxed. Everyone was on board for a vaginal delivery but it was clear that this would likely be quite a long day. Kate decided to ask for another 1/2 dose of Demerol to help cope with the pain and Ayla said goodbye to the laboring couple at about 9:30 AM.
Sharon arrived at 11:00 AM to find Kate resting peacefully between contractions. Since the early morning, Mark remained at Kate’s side and every 6 minutes he helped sit her up in order to breath through each contraction. Sharon joined in and both she and Mark together and taking turns, massaged Kate’s back and coached her through each contraction. Sharon made sure Kate had some ice chips after each contraction. The 9:30 AM Demerol dose allowed Kate to doze between contractions but as time passed, the analgesic effect began to wear off.
At 12:50 PM, Dr. Worth came in and performed another vaginal exam. Kate was at 3 cm dilated and about 90% effaced. Kate was discouraged by the results and the pain with contractions continued to increase. She had hoped she would be around 5-6 cm dilated for this is where she hoped to be before consenting to an epidural. Dr. Worth discussed with Kate, Mark, and Sharon the various possibilities of getting more Demerol, receiving an epidural, or opting for a C-section. Dr. Worth also suggested an internal monitor so Kate could remove the external monitor and allow for more position changes. Wanting to be more alert, Kate and Sharon discussed the idea of allowing the Demerol to wear off and labor without any intervention before deciding to get an epidural. Kate was in adamant agreement. She bravely experimented with different positions on the bed and labored for one and a half hours before getting the epidural.
Administered at 2:30 PM , the epidural took an unusually long time to set in so the anesthesiologist very accommodatingly stayed nearby to adjust the dosage. Of course, Kate’s offer of tickets to the Colbert Report for a job well done was also very alluring! By 3:30 PM, the epidural offered more pain relief, but Kate could still feel pain down the sides of her legs and the lower left portion of her belly. Dr. Musali came in to check on Kate and his calm, collected presence was very much appreciated by all parties. He continued to assert that there was plenty of room in Kate’s pelvis to go through with a vaginal delivery and that the baby was not too big. After discovering that Kate was about 4 cm dilated following a vaginal exam, Dr. Musali suggested Kate get a pressure catheter to measure the strength of the uterine contractions to ascertain why dilation seemed slow. After a thoughtful discussion, with the unwavering advocacy of Mark, everyone agreed that it was best for Kate to continue to strive for a VBAC and that the next best step was to redo the epidural to see if she could get more pain relief. At 6 PM, the epidural was re-set and by 6:30 PM, Kate received complete pain relief. A success! Kate fell into a deep sleep and even though Pitocin was conservatively administered at 7 PM, Kate continued to sleep soundly for the next 2 and a half hours without even waking during the contractions! Sharon rested along with Kate and although Mark may have intended to rest, he never took his eyes off the monitor and vigilantly watched each contraction as they increased in strength.
At 9:30 PM, Dr. Moon came in and performed another vaginal exam. To everyone’s surprise and delight, Kate was fully dilated and ready to push! Did Mark’s watchful eyes will full dilation? Kate, groggy from just awaking, was in disbelief. “Is this a dream?” she asked. But it was no dream. Soon, Rachel, the new nurse on duty, joined Dr. Moon, Mark and Sharon as they supported Kate through her first pushes. Dr. Moon immediately called Dr. Worth who raced to return to attend the birth. Although everyone wanted Dr. Worth to be present, Kate saw her chance and was determined to push still not believing that the baby was heading in only one direction: out! Soon, Dr. Worth arrived and pushing was underway. Kate holding her own legs, Mark and Sharon stationed on each side supporting her, Kate led the way as only she could feel when a contraction was coming on. Dr. Worth and Rachel took turns guiding Kate with when and where to push. Kate was a natural pusher. Even with decreased sensation from the epidural, she knew to push low and strong. Kate even requested the epidural be turned off so she could feel more.
After an hour and a half of beautiful pushes, on Oct. 21st, 2008, lovely Gwenneth joined her parents at 11:03 PM.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
intermission
i will finish the rest by Saturday . Our doula is coming tomorrow and part of the package is that they write out a version of your birth story . So I want to read her version .
Anyway last Friday we took G to the doctor weight 6 pounds 4 ounces today 6 days later 6 pounds 15 ounces !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah !! I forgot how hard breastfeeding is in the beginning but I am hanging in there. More soon
Anyway last Friday we took G to the doctor weight 6 pounds 4 ounces today 6 days later 6 pounds 15 ounces !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah !! I forgot how hard breastfeeding is in the beginning but I am hanging in there. More soon
Friday, October 24, 2008
Part 1
We are home. we got home 36 hours after the birth which was amazing . Rory is doing well and my milk came in last night . My only concern is G is sleeping so much and it is hard for me to wake her up to feed. But I can't really remember the first few days of Rory's life so I dont know if I am doing it wrong .
Birth Story:
So on Saturday Oct 18th I had an acupuncture appt with one of my doulas . I was pretty discouraged . She put in semi permanent needles in my ankles and my ear she also lanced my pinky toes and bleed them out to try and lower the baby. I used to hate needles but the thought of another c section overcame this fear. Sunday was a day of pineapple, sex , evening primrose oil , Clarey sage . Sunday night at 9:30pm the ankle points were really bothering me so I took them out . I started to feel contractions off an on but nothing really to get me hopeful. At midnight I decided to take out the ear points. THis started contractions at about 10 minutes apart and this lasted all night until 7am . I woke marc up who was out in the living room ( so I could labor alone and he could sleep ) and said I think this might be something and I was going to call the batphone which is what the doulas told me to call and one of them would answer.
I called and talked to Suzanne and she said to call back mid morning and someone would be out to give me a acupuncture treatment. At about 8:30am I went to the bathroom and that is when I realized my water had broke , not a gush but several trickles. I called back and Melanie answered I told her the news and she said she would be out at noon to give me a treatment. She came and did the treatment and then she and I went for a walk around Astoria Park . We then laid in the sun . My contractions where lessening to about every 14 minutes , then 8 minutes then 12 not rhythm and I was getting scared. Basically in America rule of thought is water breaks baby out in 24 hours. My doula told me not to call my doctor until after 5pm and tell her my water had just broken in a trickle to give me a little more time . She left around 4pm . Rory was picked up by our friend Salena around this time . This was hard to say goodbye. Knowing that when I saw her again I would be on the other side of things. A family of 3 no more , everything changed . But when I had a contraction she saw me in pain and this concerned her. She is the kid on the playground that if someone is crying runs up to see what she can do. Marc and I went for another walk and nothing happened , we laid in the sun and still nothing . At this point the contractions were still all over the place. I black berried my doctor that my water had broke in a trickle, who called me immediately. She wanted me to come in immediately since I was a VBAC. This upset me because the other Dr. had told me I could labor at home even if my water broke. So I told her I had no child care until Morning LOL. Who is 40 weeks pregnant and has NO childcare but I didnt care. I knew once I got to the hospital the interventions would start and my chances decreased. She was ok with that but said NO LATER THEN 8am !! With this news I relaxed and my contractions came on stronger. At 10pm the contractions were 8 minutes we called the Doula and Ayla came over we labored in the bedroom until about 2:00am when they were about 4 minutes apart we headed to the hospital . The ride was pretty intense I just kept holding on the the handle above the door . Marc hit a pot hole and I screamed at him. We got to the Hospital St. Vincents which is in the village in about 30 minutes. When we got to the hospital we met with the resident doctor who appeared to be about 16 years old and under 5 ft. She had to jump up and down several times to grab the light above her head and pull it down to examine me . She said "You are at 1cm" . WHAT ?!! 24 hours of labor and still 1 cm ! I wanted to cry and I begged to go home . After she left the room I did make a joke about being arrested for child molestation because she examined me and could not have been older then 18. Which I thought was pretty good for being in labor 24hour. Anyway the doula could not believe I was only 1cm. But this is what happened last time , this is what happened to my mom and my paternal grandmother . More to come ...
Birth Story:
So on Saturday Oct 18th I had an acupuncture appt with one of my doulas . I was pretty discouraged . She put in semi permanent needles in my ankles and my ear she also lanced my pinky toes and bleed them out to try and lower the baby. I used to hate needles but the thought of another c section overcame this fear. Sunday was a day of pineapple, sex , evening primrose oil , Clarey sage . Sunday night at 9:30pm the ankle points were really bothering me so I took them out . I started to feel contractions off an on but nothing really to get me hopeful. At midnight I decided to take out the ear points. THis started contractions at about 10 minutes apart and this lasted all night until 7am . I woke marc up who was out in the living room ( so I could labor alone and he could sleep ) and said I think this might be something and I was going to call the batphone which is what the doulas told me to call and one of them would answer.
I called and talked to Suzanne and she said to call back mid morning and someone would be out to give me a acupuncture treatment. At about 8:30am I went to the bathroom and that is when I realized my water had broke , not a gush but several trickles. I called back and Melanie answered I told her the news and she said she would be out at noon to give me a treatment. She came and did the treatment and then she and I went for a walk around Astoria Park . We then laid in the sun . My contractions where lessening to about every 14 minutes , then 8 minutes then 12 not rhythm and I was getting scared. Basically in America rule of thought is water breaks baby out in 24 hours. My doula told me not to call my doctor until after 5pm and tell her my water had just broken in a trickle to give me a little more time . She left around 4pm . Rory was picked up by our friend Salena around this time . This was hard to say goodbye. Knowing that when I saw her again I would be on the other side of things. A family of 3 no more , everything changed . But when I had a contraction she saw me in pain and this concerned her. She is the kid on the playground that if someone is crying runs up to see what she can do. Marc and I went for another walk and nothing happened , we laid in the sun and still nothing . At this point the contractions were still all over the place. I black berried my doctor that my water had broke in a trickle, who called me immediately. She wanted me to come in immediately since I was a VBAC. This upset me because the other Dr. had told me I could labor at home even if my water broke. So I told her I had no child care until Morning LOL. Who is 40 weeks pregnant and has NO childcare but I didnt care. I knew once I got to the hospital the interventions would start and my chances decreased. She was ok with that but said NO LATER THEN 8am !! With this news I relaxed and my contractions came on stronger. At 10pm the contractions were 8 minutes we called the Doula and Ayla came over we labored in the bedroom until about 2:00am when they were about 4 minutes apart we headed to the hospital . The ride was pretty intense I just kept holding on the the handle above the door . Marc hit a pot hole and I screamed at him. We got to the Hospital St. Vincents which is in the village in about 30 minutes. When we got to the hospital we met with the resident doctor who appeared to be about 16 years old and under 5 ft. She had to jump up and down several times to grab the light above her head and pull it down to examine me . She said "You are at 1cm" . WHAT ?!! 24 hours of labor and still 1 cm ! I wanted to cry and I begged to go home . After she left the room I did make a joke about being arrested for child molestation because she examined me and could not have been older then 18. Which I thought was pretty good for being in labor 24hour. Anyway the doula could not believe I was only 1cm. But this is what happened last time , this is what happened to my mom and my paternal grandmother . More to come ...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
WE DID IT!!!
Gywneth Hussein born 11:03pm Oct 21st . VBAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Long story but I did it !! I never knew I had the strength. (Real middle name is Eleanor) Pictures to come !
Sunday, October 19, 2008
update to last post over heard in this household today
I put Rory down for her nap and ran into Marc in the hallway.
40 week pregnant Kate: Let's go have sex.
Marc: umm yea ok (stupid grin on face that boys get when they know they are going to have sex)
40 week pregnant Kate: (walking toward bedroom) oh and you can wipe that stupid grin off your face jackass this is for medicinal purposes.
Marc: Yea whatever just let me take a shower because
40 week pregnant Kate: No
Marc: but Kate I
40 week pregnant Kate: I dont care what you smell like or when the last time you bathed was , get in to bed and take off your clothes . In fact you can leave your shirt and socks on.
Sara I swear I have done it all but you know I love you !! Just to give you an example yesterday I had the ends of my pinky toes lanced and bleed for several minutes because in Chinese medicine they believe this will bring the baby lower into your pelvis. Right now the baby has a better chance of coming out of my mouth then my Va-jay-jay.
40 week pregnant Kate: Let's go have sex.
Marc: umm yea ok (stupid grin on face that boys get when they know they are going to have sex)
40 week pregnant Kate: (walking toward bedroom) oh and you can wipe that stupid grin off your face jackass this is for medicinal purposes.
Marc: Yea whatever just let me take a shower because
40 week pregnant Kate: No
Marc: but Kate I
40 week pregnant Kate: I dont care what you smell like or when the last time you bathed was , get in to bed and take off your clothes . In fact you can leave your shirt and socks on.
Sara I swear I have done it all but you know I love you !! Just to give you an example yesterday I had the ends of my pinky toes lanced and bleed for several minutes because in Chinese medicine they believe this will bring the baby lower into your pelvis. Right now the baby has a better chance of coming out of my mouth then my Va-jay-jay.
Deju vu all over again
TOday is my last due date. Like I said in a earlier post they have given me 3 , 10th, 16th and 19th. Rory's last due date was the 19th as well. And here I sit again. I have done everything , there is nothing anyone can post that I have not done . I am tired emotionally and physically and I dont have much hope. After today my chances of a VBAC go from 70% to about 30% , this is all statistics but still. My body is trying I can feel it , it is like a car's engine that just can't turn over . There are moments when you think it has started only to have it die again. I plead with it "just start!" , "give me a chance" "I will do the rest" . I go through anger and weeping in a moment. The worst part is that and I dont know if I even posted about this but Rory had a double ear infection. We took her back last week and she STILL has it !! She is now on a second antibiotic for 10 days. Yesterday there was blood coming out of her ear . THis morning when she woke up she screamed for over 30 minutes (this is not Rory) I kept asking her to tell me what was wrong . She knows enough words and gestures that when I say where does it ouch ? she will tell me . My she was sooo distraught . She just buried her head in my chest and every few minutes would wail "mommy mommy mommy" I finally sat straight up with her against me and breast fed her whille we waiting for the Ibprofen to take the edge off the pain. She fell back asleep in my arms and I cried . How can I be away from her for 4 nights ? How can I not be able to hold her for 6 weeks at least? I could not push the stroller for almost 3 months after my last c section. Marc will have to take off work for at least 6 weeks and take care of all of us. That means no income coming in . NONE! What are we going to do? Why did I leave work ? Why won't my body do what it is supposed to do ?
** Oh and the final date can't be any later then today the 19th. I took a pregnancy test Feb 6th and it was positive . It was a first response that has a %50 chance of telling you 10 DPO so that would bring ovulation to no later then Jan 27th . So there is no way it is a missed date.
** Oh and the final date can't be any later then today the 19th. I took a pregnancy test Feb 6th and it was positive . It was a first response that has a %50 chance of telling you 10 DPO so that would bring ovulation to no later then Jan 27th . So there is no way it is a missed date.
Monday, October 13, 2008
OMG!
You are not going to believe this but I just got an email from one of the two doctors left at my OBGYN practice (the one I really liked) that she left the practice!! So after crying my eyes out Marc got on the phone and got her cell # and called her up. Basically she wants me to come with her to her new practice at St. Vincent's but wont be back in town till Thursday to see me . OR I can stay with Dr. K who is now a single practice doctor (One of the main reasons I left my old doctor ) Oh and if this sounds like familiar , it is because the other doctor I really liked at this practice jumped ship in August. So basically if I go into labor in the next 72 hours I am to go to St. Vincent's ( a hospital I have never been to or pre registered at ) tell them I am her patient and hope they allow me in. Hopefully her asst can switch my insurance and get my records tomorrow . Not today. You know because of the sacred holiday of Columbus !!!!
Oh and I did a ton of research before I switched in July and this was the best group practice for VBACs for Lennox Hill and recommended by a ton of people. But apparently the practice was in shambles. And Dr. W the one I like told Dr. K . that she was leaving at the end of the year on Friday and he told her to get out now ! so that is great for his patients like me . The only reason I even found out was that I sent her an email this morning that nothing was going on and I was depressed and to ask if she would let me go later in my date then Dr. K or if 1 week was the cut off for both of them .
WHAT A SUMMER !! I can't take anymore!
Oh and Sara IT IS TOTALLY in my mind for sure , even deeper then fearing another C section. We must go and have wine after this LOL.
Oh and I did a ton of research before I switched in July and this was the best group practice for VBACs for Lennox Hill and recommended by a ton of people. But apparently the practice was in shambles. And Dr. W the one I like told Dr. K . that she was leaving at the end of the year on Friday and he told her to get out now ! so that is great for his patients like me . The only reason I even found out was that I sent her an email this morning that nothing was going on and I was depressed and to ask if she would let me go later in my date then Dr. K or if 1 week was the cut off for both of them .
WHAT A SUMMER !! I can't take anymore!
Oh and Sara IT IS TOTALLY in my mind for sure , even deeper then fearing another C section. We must go and have wine after this LOL.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
The Road taken twice
Right now I hate my body and I hate myself. Why is my body not normal ,? Why can't I go into labor? What is wrong with me ? I have done everything but I know that they will section me again . I know it . Unless I run away , which I am considering . And that will be the end of my childbearing . I will never go through this again only to be cut open at the end . How can I have lost my plug and have bloody show and still be sitting here. I feel like a failure . Our neighbors, friends and my doulas are all waiting , calling , emailing . What is going on ? Not a thing. Not a thing are you sure ? Yes nothing. I am angry , I am sad and I hate myself because I am not normal . My body lets me down .
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
39 weeks pregnant shot
This was the day I lost my plug . As of now nothing going on! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Thursday, October 9, 2008
B*tches get things done!
I dont know if you saw it but last spring SNL had Tina Fey and Amy Poeller reporting on Weekend update. They were talking about how Obama was starting to pull ahead of Hilary and that the reason is people saw her as a B*tch. And Amy Poeller says "Damn right she's a B*tch , B*tches get things done !"http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/02/24/snls-campaign-trail-fau_n_88160.html I loved that line . Anyway on Tuesday I finally met the woman Doctor at the OBGYN practice I go to. I was supposed to see her a few weeks ago but she had an emergency. Anyway she was GREAT!! So kind, so positive about VBACs. I hope she is the one to deliver the baby. Anyway she asked me if Dr. K had done a internal last week. Yes and I was not dilated. She said ok lets take a look. Now I have had A LOT of internal exams , officially and unofficially HAHAHA! but NOTHING LIKE THIS. I am pretty sure she had both hands up my Va-jay-jay and was making a sandwich. Anyway she got to my cervix and told me that it was still closed I was pretty sad . And then she said "Kate I am going to put my fingers through your cervix" "Ok lets see if that helps. " So I left pretty sad . I mean every doctor after an internals says "YOu might experience some bleeding " but I NEVER DO . So I had another appt in the city about 2 hours later . So I walked around the upper east side . Stopped in a childrens boutique bought stuff I can' t afford for Rory . Anyway I had some contractions but nothing to get excited about. Went home went to bed pretty discouraged. BUT in the morning I woke up and had lost my mucus plug and had a bit of bloody show !!! So here is to B*tches . Myself, My doctor and the one inside me . Lets all work together to GET THIS DONE!!!
Also if you know my parents PLEASE DONT TELL THEM they will want to book a flight or call every hour and I can't handle it right now . No offense to them but they have to PLAN everything !
Also if you know my parents PLEASE DONT TELL THEM they will want to book a flight or call every hour and I can't handle it right now . No offense to them but they have to PLAN everything !
Thursday, October 2, 2008
VBAC
I feel like I have to post about this. I have gotten a lot of emails, phone calls and parents at the park warning me about having a VBAC. For every 1 person who says good luck I have 5 that says "Oh that is dangerous or you should worry about your baby first. Ummmm first off. For me because of my health, age and the type of C section I had it is actually less dangerous for me and the baby to have a VBAC then a second c section. Ok that is all I have to say about that. Do research before you email or call and say what I am doing is wrong.
Now questions
Sara: Yes I do have a doula this time around !! I actually have 5 . It is a group of doula acupuncturists . (all by the way with masters degrees LOL) These are serious women and wonderful. Basically if I am lucky to go into labor on my own then I call the "bat phone" They will come over and help me labor at home, give me acupuncture, relieve Marc and let us know when it is time to go to the hospital. I also go to them once a week for acupuncture . One of them came to the house and sat with Marc and I for 3 hours and went over everything we want. So far it has been great I wish my labor nurse with Rory (Donna) could be my doula/midwife (shout out to you Donna!) she is the best and one of the reasons I am going to Lenox Hill again . I also like these women because they are not aggressive . They respect nurses and doctors and have assured me they are not there to override any decesions made just ot support myself and Marc .
Salty:
Salty first COngrats on your Marathon relay. Please go here to read about the amazing team of pregnant runners that she put together http://notpeppery.blogspot.com/. I wish I could have done it but i just to close to delivery. I was overdue with Rory and basically they induced me with cerverdel the day after Christmas. After 12 hours on my back with no Real contractions the cevrerdel was taken out and I was told I would have to have a c section . My doctor (at the time , I have switched doctors now) said I had to have a c section . He went to have dinner and I went into labor , He came back and was surprised but broke my water and allowed me to labor. At around 1am I was 3 cm he came back at 3am and said I had not progressed and that a c section was necessary. My husband asked about pitocin and was told rather nastily that my uterus was to exhausted and that it would not help. I have since done a lot of research and I feel that because my doctor was a single practice doctor and he wanted to see his patients the following day that he rushed to a c section. I am grateful for the beautiful baby that he did deliver but i feel he did not give me a real chance. Maybe 12 hours later it would have ended in the same situation but I was never given a real chance to labor . I was in labor from around 8:00pm-3am . Salty as a side note all research shows running thru a pregnancy decrease the chances for a c section and also an other interventions. I have slowed my running down to about 6 miles a week as per my doulas advice and I am focusing on more stretching and walking. But this is just me . I know women that run a race and then ran to the hospital from the finish line and gave birth. So don't worry.
Oh and yes I am watching the debate and typing this becasue I can't watch it with my full attention or I am afriad my water will break early.
Now questions
Sara: Yes I do have a doula this time around !! I actually have 5 . It is a group of doula acupuncturists . (all by the way with masters degrees LOL) These are serious women and wonderful. Basically if I am lucky to go into labor on my own then I call the "bat phone" They will come over and help me labor at home, give me acupuncture, relieve Marc and let us know when it is time to go to the hospital. I also go to them once a week for acupuncture . One of them came to the house and sat with Marc and I for 3 hours and went over everything we want. So far it has been great I wish my labor nurse with Rory (Donna) could be my doula/midwife (shout out to you Donna!) she is the best and one of the reasons I am going to Lenox Hill again . I also like these women because they are not aggressive . They respect nurses and doctors and have assured me they are not there to override any decesions made just ot support myself and Marc .
Salty:
Salty first COngrats on your Marathon relay. Please go here to read about the amazing team of pregnant runners that she put together http://notpeppery.blogspot.com/. I wish I could have done it but i just to close to delivery. I was overdue with Rory and basically they induced me with cerverdel the day after Christmas. After 12 hours on my back with no Real contractions the cevrerdel was taken out and I was told I would have to have a c section . My doctor (at the time , I have switched doctors now) said I had to have a c section . He went to have dinner and I went into labor , He came back and was surprised but broke my water and allowed me to labor. At around 1am I was 3 cm he came back at 3am and said I had not progressed and that a c section was necessary. My husband asked about pitocin and was told rather nastily that my uterus was to exhausted and that it would not help. I have since done a lot of research and I feel that because my doctor was a single practice doctor and he wanted to see his patients the following day that he rushed to a c section. I am grateful for the beautiful baby that he did deliver but i feel he did not give me a real chance. Maybe 12 hours later it would have ended in the same situation but I was never given a real chance to labor . I was in labor from around 8:00pm-3am . Salty as a side note all research shows running thru a pregnancy decrease the chances for a c section and also an other interventions. I have slowed my running down to about 6 miles a week as per my doulas advice and I am focusing on more stretching and walking. But this is just me . I know women that run a race and then ran to the hospital from the finish line and gave birth. So don't worry.
Oh and yes I am watching the debate and typing this becasue I can't watch it with my full attention or I am afriad my water will break early.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Waiting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLCJEYLIBQY
So today at the park someone said "Oh you're still here" And so it begins. I mean technically I could have at least 3 more weeks. But here is a song to some it up.
So today at the park someone said "Oh you're still here" And so it begins. I mean technically I could have at least 3 more weeks. But here is a song to some it up.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
OK so lets see how this goes
Hi everyone ! Good to be blogging again. I am 37 weeks pregnant and not running as much as I was . I am doing everything I can not to have another C-section again. Acupuncture , massage, evening primrose oil, Raspberry tea. Any other suggestions are welcome.
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